Appalachian Power's glad-handing lobbyist was very busy today handing out advertisements for the company's "Consumer Rate Relief Bonds" to legislators. Why, thanks, we needed some comic relief!
I think Charlie Patton has missed his calling. He's got a great future on television, pitching Ginsus and Potty Patches* to witless insomniacs at 3 a.m. now that Billy Mays has left the sound stage.
Charlie says, "...we're looking at everything we can to keep costs under control." Well, everything except Integrated Resource Planning and diversifying generation. Charlie's version of "everything" includes taking out a mortgage in your name to pay for the cost of the electricity he's supplying you with today. Charlie also says that, "Securitization is an innovative tool we can use to help mitigate or ELIMINATE increases for the recovery of previously incurred fuel and purchased power costs." Eliminate? Does that mean that Charlie doesn't want his $350M of under recovered fuel costs back? That's awful nice of good ol' Charlie, don't you think? Charlie wants to sweep your current debt under the rug so that your kids can pay for it 10 years from now when it has a bunch of interest charges tacked on to it. Why, electricity can be yours today, little Appalachian Power customer, and you can pay for it in 120 easy monthly installments of only one cent each!!
Personally, I'd rather just give Charlie 120 pennies scavenged from underneath my car seats and under my couch cushions today. How about you?
Something just doesn't add up here... I think it might be those nifty charts on his advertisement. Charlie thinks that if he can "securitize" your rate increase, it will magically disappear! It won't though. That 30 - 40% rate increase will still be hanging over your head, along with all the other future rate increases that you will continue to incur every time you flip that light switch. Eventually, Charlie's house of cards is going to collapse, and then you're going to be stuck with a gigantic balloon payment to make just to keep your lights on. Or perhaps the state or federal government will have to bail Appalachian Power's ratepayers out of the financial mess Charlie has made with his magical disappearing rate increase trick.
Charlie doesn't really care what happens to you. He just wants to avoid any bad PR that may stick to him, his company, the Public Service Commission or your legislators because once again, Appalachian Power's imprudent planning decisions have made electricity cost more than you can afford to pay. Hiding another big rate increase will not make it go away.
*If you don't have the time or inclination to walk your dog on real grass to do its business, you probably shouldn't have a dog.
I think Charlie Patton has missed his calling. He's got a great future on television, pitching Ginsus and Potty Patches* to witless insomniacs at 3 a.m. now that Billy Mays has left the sound stage.
Charlie says, "...we're looking at everything we can to keep costs under control." Well, everything except Integrated Resource Planning and diversifying generation. Charlie's version of "everything" includes taking out a mortgage in your name to pay for the cost of the electricity he's supplying you with today. Charlie also says that, "Securitization is an innovative tool we can use to help mitigate or ELIMINATE increases for the recovery of previously incurred fuel and purchased power costs." Eliminate? Does that mean that Charlie doesn't want his $350M of under recovered fuel costs back? That's awful nice of good ol' Charlie, don't you think? Charlie wants to sweep your current debt under the rug so that your kids can pay for it 10 years from now when it has a bunch of interest charges tacked on to it. Why, electricity can be yours today, little Appalachian Power customer, and you can pay for it in 120 easy monthly installments of only one cent each!!
Personally, I'd rather just give Charlie 120 pennies scavenged from underneath my car seats and under my couch cushions today. How about you?
Something just doesn't add up here... I think it might be those nifty charts on his advertisement. Charlie thinks that if he can "securitize" your rate increase, it will magically disappear! It won't though. That 30 - 40% rate increase will still be hanging over your head, along with all the other future rate increases that you will continue to incur every time you flip that light switch. Eventually, Charlie's house of cards is going to collapse, and then you're going to be stuck with a gigantic balloon payment to make just to keep your lights on. Or perhaps the state or federal government will have to bail Appalachian Power's ratepayers out of the financial mess Charlie has made with his magical disappearing rate increase trick.
Charlie doesn't really care what happens to you. He just wants to avoid any bad PR that may stick to him, his company, the Public Service Commission or your legislators because once again, Appalachian Power's imprudent planning decisions have made electricity cost more than you can afford to pay. Hiding another big rate increase will not make it go away.
*If you don't have the time or inclination to walk your dog on real grass to do its business, you probably shouldn't have a dog.
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