Tommy, I've Got Your Number

Tommy, Tommy, who can I turn to?
You give me something I can laugh hard at
I know you'll think I'm like the others before
Who saw your name and number on the wall...

...and your ridiculous new "Code of Conduct Principles" on the web.  Is that what happens when one of your prior "Codes of Conduct" mates with your "Principles of Business Conduct?"

Can't get that song out of my head.  Thanks a lot, Tommy.  You're a real pal.

Wind Catcher has some new "Code of Conduct Principles" on its website.  It attempts to take some lines from the old "Code of Conduct" and then adds some new stuff that can only create hilarity.

Tommy, Tommy, you're the manager for me
You don't know me but you make me so silly
I tried to call you before but I lost my nerve
I tried my imagination but I was disturbed

Mostly I was disturbed by this "principle":

Except in response to a question from a landowner, Project Representatives will not represent that a relative, neighbor and/or friend supports or opposes the Project, even if it’s true.

Except in response to a question from a landowner?  Because if a landowner asks a question (any question apparently, such as, "is the sky blue today?") it's okay to divulge information about another person? 

But what about these principles?

All communications and interactions with property owners and occupants must respect the privacy of property owners and other persons.

The details of the negotiations with property owners and occupants are to remain confidential unless allowed by the landowner. Project Representatives will not discuss these details with other property owners or other persons unaffiliated with PSO or the Project.

Project Representatives will not ask relatives, neighbors and/or friends to influence the property owner.

These principles go together sort of like oil and water.  Whipped cream on a Triscuit.  Salisbury steak on an ice cream sundae.  So, if a landowner asks, is it okay to tell them that a neighbor, friend, or relative has agreed to an easement, even if it's not true?  What does the truthfulness of telling tales on other people have to do with easement negotiations anyhow?  And whether or not a neighbor, friend, or relative supports or opposes a project can be used by the land agent to try to influence negotiations with another, as long as the land agent doesn't ask the friend, neighbor or relative to influence the landowner directly?

This is garbage.  It's ridiculous.  It's unenforceable.

Oh, right.  I get it now.  Nobody enforces these "principles" so it's okay to make them as confusing, contradictory, and devoid of true meaning as possible.  What's a landowner to do when a land agent violates any of these principles?

Tommy, I've got your number
I need to report a violation
Tommy, don't change your number

Because there's been hundreds of violations already!  Do you mean that from now on this is a problem, although your land agents have used it extensively in the past (like yesterday).

While PSO has the legal right to use court proceedings to obtain land rights for the Project, the Project Representatives should not threaten to call law enforcement officers, obtain court orders, or threaten the use of eminent domain.

I don't think a land agent can operate without using the words "eminent domain."  Without them, a land agent has nothing.  Especially when...

Project Representatives will respect all communications from property owners to them – whether in person, by telephone or in writing – in which the property owner indicates that he or she does not want to negotiate or does not want to give permission for surveying or other work on his or her property. Unless specifically authorized by PSO, Project Representatives will not contact the property owner again regarding negotiations or requests for permission to survey.

When asked to leave a property, Property Representatives will promptly leave and not return unless specifically authorized by PSO.

Buh-bye!  Your land agents are going to have a lot of free time on their hands, if they paid attention in PSO Customer Relations Training class.  Maybe you can hold more classes to keep them busy?  I suggest enrichment activities related to recognizing a "threat."

If threatened, Project Representatives will promptly and politely leave the property.

This should probably include units on running like hell, because a true threat from a crazy landowner doesn't allow for a controlled and polite exit. 

What, exactly, constitutes a threat?   If a landowner says, "If you don't quit asking me for an easement, I'm going to call Tommy?"  Would that make a land agent leave?

Tommy, I've got your number
I need to make your land agent leave
Tommy, don't change your number

But this... this has to be my favorite line in the whole "Code of Conduct Principles":

Project Representatives will not give the property owner any legal advice.

Because that would be practicing law without a license, since I'll assume your project representatives are not lawyers.  But if they did, would it be okay if it was true?  Would it be considered a threat?

Are the land agents going to be handing out copies of these "principles" when they call on landowners from now on?  Way to throw landowners off balance and encourage them to talk to land agents longer just to see how long it takes for a violation of the principles to occur!  If that happens, maybe people don't want to call you, Tommy, although I don't see your phone number on the principles, nor any other way for a landowner to report a violation.  I guess they'll just have to report violations to Dana Murphy at the Oklahoma Corporation Commission.

I got it (i got it) I got it
I got her number on the wall
I got it (i got it) I got it
For a violation, for a violation call...