FirstEnergy got sucked into its own vortex of, well, sucking today. The company announced that it was capitulating on its intention to charge two million residential customers a one-time $5 - $15 fee as a "polar vortex" surcharge. FirstEnergy says that the company will still charge a fee to its commercial and industrial customers that amounts to 1 to 3 percent of their annual electric costs, though.
You don't think that FirstEnergy actually intends to absorb this foregone cost, do you? Of course not. The sucky thieves at FirstEnergy will just find other, sneakier, ways to cheat its customers... a penny here, a nickel there... and before you know it FirstEnergy has managed to SUCK the money out of you anyhow without any of that nasty, messy bad publicity that came with being up front about how much the company sucks.
Or so they think.
After FirstEnergy made its sucky announcement last month, state public utility commissions and consumer advocates in affected states scurried toward opening investigations into the company's practice of adding the additional fees to what consumers thought were fixed rate contracts. Just a little taste of FirstEnergy's sucky legal buggery, which everyone is getting mighty sick of about now.
Does FirstEnergy think it's all better now? The damage has already been done! Everyone hates FirstEnergy! The few who didn't before, do now, and they're going to get as far away from this mismanaged, money-grubbing, charlie foxtrot corporation as possible. As Columbus Business First notes:
You don't think that FirstEnergy actually intends to absorb this foregone cost, do you? Of course not. The sucky thieves at FirstEnergy will just find other, sneakier, ways to cheat its customers... a penny here, a nickel there... and before you know it FirstEnergy has managed to SUCK the money out of you anyhow without any of that nasty, messy bad publicity that came with being up front about how much the company sucks.
Or so they think.
After FirstEnergy made its sucky announcement last month, state public utility commissions and consumer advocates in affected states scurried toward opening investigations into the company's practice of adding the additional fees to what consumers thought were fixed rate contracts. Just a little taste of FirstEnergy's sucky legal buggery, which everyone is getting mighty sick of about now.
Does FirstEnergy think it's all better now? The damage has already been done! Everyone hates FirstEnergy! The few who didn't before, do now, and they're going to get as far away from this mismanaged, money-grubbing, charlie foxtrot corporation as possible. As Columbus Business First notes:
And the company still thinks is has the ability to charge extra fees to its customers, even if they have fixed-rate contracts, based on comments from FirstEnergy Solutions President Donald R. Schneider.
“It was a very difficult winter, particularly for residential customers, and hopefully waiving the surcharge will make it somewhat easier,” he said in a release. “Even though our contracts allow us to pass through surcharges, we have decided we won’t seek reimbursement from residential customers for the added costs.”
Run, little FirstEnergy Solutions customers, RUNNNN!!!
But, wait, maybe FirstEnergy can still keep a few customers by taking advantage of the Donny in a greasy ball cap and Simpsons t-shirt idea that they didn't use last time they created a confused and ridiculous advertising campaign. We'll be here thinking up some nifty new ideas for FirstEnergy ads over a few beers, because all FirstEnergy's own ideas just seem to SUCK!
But, wait, maybe FirstEnergy can still keep a few customers by taking advantage of the Donny in a greasy ball cap and Simpsons t-shirt idea that they didn't use last time they created a confused and ridiculous advertising campaign. We'll be here thinking up some nifty new ideas for FirstEnergy ads over a few beers, because all FirstEnergy's own ideas just seem to SUCK!
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