Clean Line's Bragging Christmas Letter

Those bragging Christmas letters we receive from friends and relatives, tucked neatly inside a glittery, mass-produced holiday card -- you know you love to hate them.  It's like being gifted with an assortment of badly-written attempts at the great American novel, sometimes screamingly funny, and sometimes amazingly sad.  But rarely an accurate picture of the author's year in review.  As this article demonstrates, the reality behind even the most cheery Christmas letter can only be discerned by reading between the lines.  And it's in that spirit that I shall now read between the lines of Clean Line's bragging Christmas letter to its supporters (or people they think support them anyhow).  Yes, this is a real letter that Clean Line sent to real people, and it leaves out a whole bunch of real facts.

In its rush to gloss over its colossal failures of 2015, Clean Line creates what reads like an alternate universe.  You may hardly recognize it.  But, I assure you that the quotes in red are straight out of Clean Line's holiday letter.  The green quotes are my attempt to crack the door and let a little reality in by including the parts of the story that Clean Line carefully omitted.  Does Clean Line really think the recipients were fooled?

Clean Line Energy has had a busy year, making progress on all of our projects. We are writing today to provide you with a brief update about our efforts to modernize the electric grid and bring more clean energy to communities.

Progress?  Does this mean you're actually permitted to build at least one of them?  No?  Of course not, there's been no real progress. 

You're not "modernizing the grid."  You're proposing to build a completely separate "grid" using 100-year old technology to transport energy from centralized generators to remote users.  A really modern grid isn't a grid at all, but many small microgrids that can either interconnect to share resources, or island themselves off during emergencies or grid outages.  You're not building that, Clean Line.

There aren't any "communities" that are asking you to bring them "more clean energy."  In order to bring "more" of something, you'd have to actually be supplying that commodity in the first place.  Clean Line still doesn't have any customers in any "communities."

First, we’ve been advancing the Rock Island Clean Line through interconnection studies, surveys, commercial development, and other work.  Additionally, we are pleased to share that we are moving through the regulatory process at the Iowa Utilities Board (IUB). On November 30th, we filed a motion to set a procedural schedule that will move the Rock Island Clean Line forward in Iowa in a timely manner, and will allow for a decision from the IUB as early as the end of 2016. We look forward to adding wind energy to the list of Iowa’s top exports.

Advancing?  That would indicate some sort of forward progress, however RICL has been stalled for the entire year in Iowa.  Clean Line is NOT "moving through the regulatory process at the IUB."  Filing a motion proposing a procedural schedule that allows bifurcation of the hearing process, when RICL's prior requests for bifurcation have been turned down, twice, is nothing but wishful thinking.  What was it ComEd's witness said about you, Clean Line? 

“Listing the number of transmission projects that have successfully achieved financing….is tantamount to my listing the members of the violin section of the Chicago Symphony  Orchestra as evidence that I will certainly become a member of the violin section of the orchestra if I follow the same regimen that they did. “ ComED/Lapson, p. 12

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

Clean Line's "procedural schedule" won't be "moving" anywhere unless the IUB approves it, and that doesn't look very likely.

By the way, how are you going to add wind to the list of Iowa exports, Clean Line, when much of the wind developed for your project is actually located in South Dakota, Minnesota or Nebraska?

Clean Line’s other projects are making great strides, as well.

The Grain Belt Express Clean Line (will deliver wind energy from Kansas into Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, and other states), has received regulatory approvals in three of the four project states, with  approval in Illinois last month.

Err... you forgot to mention that Grain Belt Express was DENIED by the Missouri PSC in July.  It doesn't mater how many other states "approve" GBE, unless you're planning to bypass Missouri entirely.  Without approval of the Missouri PSC, Grain Belt Express isn't happening.

You also forgot to mention that numerous requests for rehearing were filed in Illinois, including one from you, Clean Line.  Did the ICC issue you a worthless CPCN full of mistakes, Clean Line?  Awwwww.....

Go ahead, tell your supporters about how unlikely it is that GBE will ever be built at this point, Clean Line.  The truth shall set you free!

And, the Plains & Eastern Clean Line (will deliver Oklahoma wind energy into Arkansas, Tennessee, and other states) received its Final Environmental Impact Statement from the Department of Energy in November, bringing the project one step closer to construction.

Except the final EIS doesn't actually do anything without the DOE's approval to "participate" in your project under Sec. 1222 of the Energy Policy Act, Clean Line.  So, it's not like you really "stepped" anywhere.  And now you've managed to go and tick off Congress, who holds DOE's purse strings.  Probably not a good idea, Clean Line.

As you know, building multi-state, interregional transmission lines is a lengthy process that will bring long-term benefits.  The Rock Island Clean Line will enable $7 billion of new wind energy development that will power about 1.4 million homes with low-cost clean energy each year. We appreciate your continued support as we move through the permitting process.

Best,
Hans, Beth, Amy, Colleen and the Clean Line Energy Team

It sure is a "lengthy process."  In fact, you've been at it for 6 years now, haven't you, Clean Line?  And you're no closer to building any of your proposed lines than you were on the first day.  Don't you think that maybe, just maybe, you should have concentrated on building just ONE of your proposals, to see if you could get it off the ground?  Instead you've been shooting into the dark, hoping you'll eventually get lucky and hit something.  Probably not a good strategy.  Just sayin'.

Ya know what?  Wind and transmission is going to go right on being built without you, Clean Line, because you're really not necessary.  Or special.  Seems like you've made yourself obsolete by biting off more than you could chew and spreading your resources too thin over the past several years.  Arrogance is a sweet, sweet liar, but a liar just the same.

Quit pretending and wasting your investors' money, Clean Line.  Playing transmission company and terrorizing thousands of Midwesterners may have been fun for you over the past several years, but it's time to end this farce.  Stop.  Go away.  Go find another get rich quick scheme.  This one's timed out.

And just in case "Hans, Beth, Amy, Colleen and the Clean Line Energy Team" wonder if the recipients of their bragging Christmas letter are poking fun at them behind their backs.... how do you think the letter ended up at StopPATH WV Blog?  (Colleen?  Who is Colleen?  Is that some new minimum wage intern?  Run, Colleen, run!)

And because Clean Line's letter moved me so deeply that it has caused my heart to grow three sizes today, I would like to take this opportunity to wish all the Grinches at Clean Line a similar epiphany.  Love of home doesn't come from a store, love of your home means just a little bit more...