In the wake of the Citizens' Public Hearing in Charles Town a couple weeks ago, Potomac Edison was scrambling in a desperate attempt to remedy the tactical error it made in refusing to attend the hearing. Potomac Edison spokesflack Todd Meyers thought it would help repair the company's image if he was a guest on a local radio talk show where he could feed the community another bunch of phoney baloney about storms and renumbering and payment plans. Todd made a date to be interviewed on WRNR on June 13.
Jefferson County's legendary, self-proclaimed gadfly, Mr. Danny Lutz, heard the announcement of the upcoming interview and had a discussion with host Rob Mario in which it was agreed that one of the organizers of the Citizens' Public Hearing would also be invited to provide counter point and ask Todd questions. Danny suggested me. Rob invited me. I accepted.
What? Todd Meyers agreeing to debate the company's failings with me on live radio? Yeah, I thought it was as funny as you do! Todd tried to be brave about it when Rob notified him that I would also be a guest on the show. Todd next insisted that he be allowed to bring an "expert." After all, being afraid of me is what Todd does best, of course he needs to bring his Mommy along. Whatever, Todd, bring it on!
Well, that didn't work. Todd was still stuck in a radio date that he wanted to get out of very, very badly. But, like most cowards, Todd needed to find an excuse that would make it look like the other person (i.e., me) blinked first.
Finally, another excuse emerged to save Todd's yellow-bellied bacon. The WV PSC announced on Friday that it was opening a general investigation into Potomac Edison's business practices. Because I know how this cowardly company operates when faced with legal challenges, I let the show's host know that he'd better check with Todd sooner rather than later so he's not left at the alter next week when Todd doesn't show up. FirstEnergy will never allow a mere spokespuppet to make ad libbed statements on the company's behalf that can come back to bite them in a pending legal matter. I actually understand this principle. Bye-bye, Todd, saved by the bell!
But wait... it's about to get much funnier. Today, Todd's lawyers decided that it was legally too risky for Todd to answer impromptu questions from me (and me only!) on the radio show. The lawyers insisted that I be uninvited or Todd could not attend. So, I have fallen gracefully on my sword and I will not be there to scare Todd and make him say incriminating and incredibly stupid things. But I'm sure he won't have any trouble sounding like a nitwit without my help.
What's your next excuse going to be, Todd? You're still on the spot to be grilled by the show's host and co-host, as well as any listeners who may call in with questions. How are you going to get out of it now?
Silly coward. Do you think Todd and his irrational lawyers are ever going to realize that I'm always one step ahead? This is going to be fun! :-)